Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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