I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is wine microwaveable?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
