I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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