Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
