dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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