Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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