Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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