i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
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Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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