OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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