this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
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the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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