they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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