What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
