oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
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Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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