Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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