So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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