it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
