erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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