I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
