so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
