doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
