Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
