Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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