I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
