if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
