I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
