Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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