fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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