Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
