God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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