i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
