We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
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Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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