if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
