i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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