we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
