Just fell off a train. Bad.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
