I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Enjoy the penises
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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