I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
