I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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