I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Randomize
