the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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