Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
