My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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