He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
