mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
