Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
