sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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