Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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