did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
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I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
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Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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