There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
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They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
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I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
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Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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