Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
