guys are not supposed to queef...right?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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