hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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