i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
