Whoa Z and x make the same sound
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
