I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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