Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
