So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
