did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
