i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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