Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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