There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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