hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
