I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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