I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
